Piatok 3.12.2021
, Světoslav

Sociálne siete fungujú na báze dokonalosti. Veď to poznáte. Odfotíte sa 150-krát a aj tak vyhrá len jedna jediná fotka, ktorú si aj tak trochu upravíte. Lenže to sme my.

Keď sa pozrieme na známe osobnosti, či už sú to speváci, herci alebo najkrajšie modelky sveta, vidíme dokonalé vlasy, ligotavé zuby, perfektné prsia, štíhly pás. Vždy si len povzdychneme, čo by sme za to dali a zrazu nás začne objímať depresia.

A potom sú tu ľudia, ktorí majú radi humor tak ako aj my a neboja sa všetkým ukázať aj svoje nedostatky. Svoje o tom vie aj blogerka Laura, ktorá na Instagrame vystupuje pod menom kneedeepinlifeblog. Z času na čas zdieľa svoje fotografie, pri ktorých čerpá inšpiráciu z fotiek známych ľudí.

Laura je aj mamou dvoch synov a tak nečudo, že do svojho vtipného koníčka zapája aj svoje dve ratolesti. Nuž, niekedy naozaj stačí len dobrý nápad a život má zrazu úplne iný rozmer. Predpokladáme, že ste už veľmi zvedaví, čo vlastne Laura robí a tak vás nebudeme zbytočne naťahovať. Tu je malá ukážka:



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GOOGLE GOALS …. BEND IT FLEX IT…. When you think you've got piles but you just need him to double check because you're out of anusol. Jlo, I'll be fucked if I'm bending over that hard for anything other than a bag of Maltesers. To all my new followers, I'm here to empower, support, encourage, make you laugh until you piss and show you how easy it is to give zero fucks over social norms. Dependant on when my period is due will depend on whether I post something sad because hormones give me the Debbie Downers (sorry to all Debbie Downers it's a really fucking unfortunate name). If you can manage all that legendary stuff then buckle in you beauts, fuck knows what's next. Yes, I have a spotty arse and you'll no doubt see it if you zoom. You're welcome. Much love, The gimp loving, spanx wearing, buck teethed, big nosed, munt shuffler X @jlo #googlegoals #funnyphoto #muntshuffler #spottyarse #legendsofkneedeep #nailedit #piles #whereismyendorsement #anusoliamwaiting #nopressure

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GOOGLE GOALS…. FLEX LIKE BECKS…. When you tell everyone you're going to the gym to work on your acro yoga moves but you fuck it off for a bag of Maltesers, and pyjamas. 150,000 FOLLOWERS. my mind is fucking blown. I get told constantly you wish you had my confidence and that I inspire you, that you wish you could be me. 2 years ago, this wasn't me, I had hideous body dismorphia and I obsessed with the women who seemed so perfect no doubt with their perfectly tight vagina because they seemed to have it made, I assumed you they had a fuck more glamour in their lives than my shit stain toilet, bedroom that looked like a vampires lunch box when I'm on my period and a vagina like a pair of net curtains dragging on the floor. Turns out I am now that person you all look at on wonder and I just want to tell you I got here because of you, because you continue to empower me, encourage me and remind me why I do what I do. Do you see how easy that is?? To make another woman feel worthy??? We just need to act like the legends we were destined to be and actually lift each other up, not tear each other down. I will continue to shout from the roof tops that you are worthy because I have seen first hand that our words can do truly incredible things. All we have to do it turn to the person next to us and say I think your fucking amazing, I think you are beautiful, I believe in you, we can do this together. Let's do it! Unless the person next to you is a total wank stain, them may be just high five them in the face. Wish a fish. Gently. Because I really don't want to promote violence. Love you guys and while I understand this could all come to a crashing end tomorrow (I might just need to be put to sleep like a dying dog if that happens) I know I've ridden this incredible rollercoaster and I have met incredible people, made you smile and reminded you that you're totally good enough. Seriously though, why the fuck haven't I had a guest spot on Loose Women and where is my Tena lady endorsement deal?? 2019, we've got this! Steve told me the vampires lunch box is gross, naturally that meant I kept it in. Fuck yes, we rock. @Victoriabeckham #googlegoals #funnyphoto

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GOOGLE GOALS…. SELLING YOUR MERCH POSE…. When you've underestimated the arse, to seat ratio and you're unsure if you've just permanently loaded a 50 pack of 2019 calendars up your chuff. Where the fuck did my bellybutton go? Narnia??? Timbukfuckingtoo??? To the legends who ordered the 2019 family calender, they're winging their way to you. They've been safely deposited at the post office and are all soon to be hitting your mats for your viewing pleasure. Anyone who would love to buy my mother fucking merch, the link is in my bio. International deliveries are now no longer available, but UK you can still order. If not, don't worry. All my family and friends will be delighted with their Christmas presents this year. #googlegoals #funnyphotos @arianagrande #nailedit #motherfuckingmerch #letsmake2019ourbitch #familycalendar #chufffullofcalendars

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GOOGLE GOALS….. 2 YEARS AGO TODAY…. When you're working on a budget of a childs tshirt and your period pants to get the look and your dog bites you on the nose. Shit you not, she made it bleed. It's only the mother fucking anniversary of this legendary place being birthed onto this planet. While it has involved a lot less heavy breathing, vaginal stretching and horrific hemroids, it is still my baby. I've worried, fretted, acted irrationally and doubted my ability on so many occasions, and yet much like my human children I've still managed to keep this page alive. Thank you all so much for being here with me. It's a pleasure to be part of it with you. Just to add, yes twat features who thinks I copy Celeste Barber, while I do believe I also own a hot husband. I also believe there are two kinds of women on this planet, those who empower, and those who try to drag people down to the ground, no doubt where their miserable old fanny hangs. I choose to empower, encourage and support, and while I take it as a backhanded compliment when you call me a copycat, unoriginal or lacking depth, know every time you mention the name Celeste in the same sentence as me, I wee a little bit with excitement. I'm not trying to be Mrs Barber, I'm trying to be me. Because the world needs as many legends as possible. Put that in your pipe and smoke it piss flaps. Much love ? P.s. I have strained my right arse cheek. It fucking kills. Just thankful it's not my fanny flap this time #googlegoals #nailedit #fuckingdog #shebitmynose #christyturlington #celestebarber #funnyphotos #theresalwaysroomformore #donttellmeno #iwilldoitmore #justtopissyouoff #notimeforhate #support #encouragement #empower #thankyou

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Dear dickheads, I'm not normally this direct but it's kind of an accurate description. I started this blog almost 2 years ago, never in my wildest dreams did I think I could ever end up with over 120k followers, that blows my mind. You save all your arsehole comments like it's the first day of your period and you let me have it with your hateful points of view over who I am. Thing is, me 2 years ago, those comments would have had a detrimental effect on who I felt I should be and what I should be writing. Luckily for me, I'm not me 2 years ago and actually now I just don't give a fuck over what you think. I receive hundreds of messages from people telling my I've stopped them from doing something really stupid, that I've pushed them to get professional help and that I've allowed them to believe they're perfect just they way they are, that's not just women, that's men too. These people, the fucking legends of KneeDeep are the reason I'll continue to give zero fucks over your comments, and why I plan to change absolutely nothing about what I do. You find new ways to twist your own melons over all the things you don't like about me, and actually my little turd sniffers, I'm not wasting your precious little life, you're waiting your own by taking time out to watch and read something you know you won't like. You continue to be you because I understand no one can polish a turd, and know I won't ever spit venom back, because that's not who I am. Everything you represent is everything I detest about nasty people. I'm in the business of being a strong woman building other strong men and women up to believe they're good enough, and to ignore anyone who believes to get anywhere in life we have to drag everyone else down. I'm dyslexic, I suffer with mental health issues, I have stretch marks, I swear a lot, I have hog weed for pubic hair, gingervitis, greasy hair and I'm not ashamed. If you don't like it, and yet you continue to hang around at a party you clearly weren't invited to, go shove your minge in a mincer. Much love ? #letsmoveon #getoverit #mingehead #justbenice #barrefaeli #nailedit #funnyphotos

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***** 2019 KNEE DEEP IN LIFE CALENDAR***** SO, I've kept this massive secret from you for a whole 4 days. This impulsive bitch is making a family calendar for your visual delight. Imagine that dimply arse crack staring across at you each morning as you eat your cornflakes and wonder what the fucking hell you're meant to be doing with your week. ….I guess this is what you would call MOTHER FUCKING MERCH! Once my anal sphincter has stopped spasming over the potential that my poor retired parents will be the only buyers, I'm sure I'll calm the fuck down about it all. CHUGGA CHUGGA CHOO CHOO, ITS COMING TO A TOWN NEAR YOU (UK only. Soz rest of the world). Seriously, don't try to buy it yet …. it's not even made. A legend can only do so much at a time while ignoring all housework and picking the spots on her arse cheeks. Come one girls, we all get them. Let's make 2019 our bitch. BOOM ? #calendar #2019 #letsdothisshit #wegotthis #excitedforthefuture #whatstheworstthatcanhappen #reginaldventura #misschristinaaa

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GOOGLE GOALS…. TEASE HIM…. When you start your period so you just want to make it clear you're going to suffer from a heavy bout of bitchbagitus and there is fuck all he can do about it, mainly because it feels like your womb is trying to forcible drag itself out of your body via your anal cavity and leave you to bleed out. Me: I'm worried I've got ecoli. Steve: ….what?? Why?? Me: because I ate chicken yesterday and now I feel achy. Steve: Laura, how the fuck do you even get to ecoli from eating chicken? How??? I don't understand. Me: I just feel it. I have this inner sense like this could turn really deadly. Steve: are you being sick???? Me: okay, fuck. Literally, I know I've just worried you but I've just started my period. I don't have ecoli. In other news don't google your symptoms. Turns out Google doesn't know shit. True story. That poor bastard lives with this every fucking day. @alexisren #sexy #inailedit #googlegoals #funnyphotos #periods #menstalcrampsfeellikeecoli #justsaying #iwasgettingworried

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Titulná fotka: kneedeepinlifeblog / instagram.com


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